Thursday, June 12, 2008

Separation anxiety...

I feel like a parent dropping their child off on the first day of school. What am I talking about? My bike!! Today I delivered my bike to the shop where tomorrow it will be whisked away for it's journey to CDA!! I felt it during lunch when I could barely eat because I was so nervous and anxious...silly.

It's here.

The anxiety of doubt and fear have been replaced with the anxiety of excitement and confidence. I am ready. No, I'm not the fastest and I'm not going to "wow!" anyone with my skills, but I feel ready to tackle 140.6 miles. There are things I have to do in order to make that happen, but I know what those things are and I am prepared to do them.

Stay within myself.

That's all I have to do. I will take this next week to focus mentally on these things and go over my game plan in my head. I will think about my nutrition mostly. I have got to eat enough on the bike.


My bags are packed...yes, everything is ready to go. This means that I have nothing to stress over. My job now is (along with focusing) to relax.

Eat. Hydrate. Sleep. Relax.


I guess I'd better explain what it is I received yesterday before Carrie thinks I got "you-know-what". Although, that too, would be nice :)

Yesterday I received a letter. A handwritten, 3 page letter from a friend of mine who is an exceptional athlete and Ironman. The letter was the kindest gesture I have received in so long. It was so thoughtful of her to take the time to sit down and share thoughts and kind words.

The irony of it is that last year I also received a letter. It was the day after IMAZ and I received a letter quite the opposite of this one. It was malicious, cruel and from someone I had once cared for deeply. But it did not crush me. It did not stop me from believing in myself. It made me stronger. Yes it hurt, but no one like that will ever keep me down.

The letter I received yesterday was a testament to the people I have met over the past year who have become such great friends to me and who have given me strength and courage when I didn't think I had it. The letter is representative of all of you who take the time to read my blog, to call, to high-five after a hard workout, to offer up words of encouragement and who believe in me. Sure I have proven to myself that I can make it through Ironman...but you all have also helped me come to this realization and I have become a better person because of you.

Sorry to get all sentimental and weepy...but I love you guys! Even if this is the first time you've ever read my blog, I love you too!