Thursday, May 17, 2012

Out of Darkness comes Light

Who the hell was the idiot who said "Out of Darkness comes Light"???  I'd like to shake their hand and give them a hug.

According to wiki.answers, it was the Mayans (who, hopefully weren't right about everything) who came up with this notion as a way of depicting the life cycle.  It has since become a phrase of encouragement.  A phrase to remind us all that the dark, scary, trying, and heartbreaking moments are a requirement to finding light, joy, excitement, passion, and love.

Recent times for me have been filled with a lot of unknowns - where would I work?  would I be able to support myself again (yes, I know...but sometimes your mind goes there)?  would I find what I came here looking for?

I've only been here five months but I feel as though I've already been through so much.  With the help of friends and family, things have been happening for the good.  Through friends I now have a job that I'm enjoying - it offers the things I was looking for in a job.  Challenging? Check. Autonomous? Check. Nice people? Check.  Casual culture? Check (I wear flip flops to work).  Through friends I will have a great apartment to live in with a yard for my girls and cool landlords and right on the road to almost every awesome bike route out of Boulder.  Every day I drive to work with a picturesque view of the mountains and even on a rainy day, they're still beautiful.  I've had the grace of friends who've put up with me and my girls all this time without so much as batting an eyelash.  I have had the tremendous support of family and friends back home who've come to my rescue time and time again...even when they didn't know it.  There have been a couple of tough days when I thought I just couldn't do it anymore that I received several calls/texts that absolutely made all the difference.

This experience has definitely made me more aware and more grateful for the people in my life.

It has also shed light on the dark...and the dark has let to light.  But that is for another post.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

"Oh, the Places You'll Go!" - Dr. Seuss


This book was a gift to me some years ago 
by a sister who had a sense
I didn't know then what I now know...
or did I?
I knew that there were places to go, 
places to see and somewhere along the way
find out who was me.
I didn't have direction just a few clues,
a sense of being and a desire to choose.
 But all too often was trampled by fear
don't venture too far, be sure to stay near.
Don't give up easily, but don't try too hard
stay in the zone, don't gamble your card. 
Dr. Seuss I am not, 
just finding my spot...
in a place that is more than I ever expected, 
that has shown me to open and let life happen.
For the first time ever, in all of my life,
I know not what might come next 
but am willing to let go and trust that the best...
is truly yet to come.

It's one thing to pack everything you own and relocate without answers...
it's very much another to let your mind and heart go and accept the unknown.
The answers, they come in ways you don't often expect.
Sometimes they are hidden within your soul and other times shine from a mountain top.
It is not until you resign yourself to accept what may be, despite what you may want
that you find what you knew all along.
The answers, you see, lie within...they don't come with geography, or a map, or a 
change in scenery.
 They are with you...within your heart...always.
When you allow yourself to open up from within, then...then you have no choice
but to acknowledge what you most likely knew all along.
Your heart may ache, it may beat wildly, but if you listen...really listen
it will beat the truth.