If ever I believed in God, today was the day.
Thanks to the Big Man upstairs for watching out for me...today was not my day to go.
As I headed south on MoPac I was cruising along singing to myself (no iPod) and just as I approached Escarpment, a small car passed me and as soon as she got to the intersection (about 2 car lengths in front of me) a mini-van blew past a stop sign and plowed right into her and sent her spinning.
I slammed on my brakes as I witnessed the accident unfold in front of me like a scene from a movie. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
1st thought - OMG, I was almost in that.
2nd thought - I need to make sure they're ok.
3rd thought - How do I get over there without putting myself in danger?
I helped the lady who was struck exit her car from the passenger side while another witness called 911. All seemed to be ok at the scene and I stayed around until the police arrived to give him my statement and contact information. I would hope someone would do the same for me if ever needed.
I got back on my bike and reluctantly continued on my way. Today was definitely one of the hardest rides I've had in a long time. Mentally I just wasn't there. I wanted to go back to my car after I saw the accident.
I convinced myself to go a little further.
I got back to Southwest Parkway and was ok, but by the time I got to 620 I wanted to call someone to come pick me up.
I convinced myself to go a little further.
I turned around just before all the construction and headed back and into the wind. It was hot. I was mentally tired. I wanted to quit...but honestly, I couldn't think of anyone who would be available to come pick me up and who wouldn't give me crap for bailing on a ride.
I convinced myself to go a little further.
By the time I got to Bee Cave, it was brutally hot and very windy. I stopped for more fluids and noticed I was losing a lot of salt - even though I was taking 1 salt tablet every 15 minutes. I started taking 2 every 15 minutes.
I'm not sure why I'm having such a tough time mentally on these last few long rides...maybe today because I was by myself? Could be. I don't know what my problem was last weekend. I enjoy riding very much and I've had some really good looong rides...maybe I'm just tired.
I finally decided that it was getting way too hot and 2 more hours would just kill me, so after 4 hours I called it a day. I packed up my stuff, said hi to folks in the shop and headed home after a quick stop at PTerry's (yum!). But as I was driving, a crazy thing happened - guilt. Guilt for not finishing what I set out to do. So what did I do?
I convinced myself to go a little further.
I got home and before I showered, before I took off my nasty, smelly clothes - I set my bike up on my trainer and rode the last 2 hours!!!!
I convinced myself to FINISH!! Yea me!!
5 comments:
you kick ass.
the definition of 'michelle' according to websters dictionary is 'perseverance'
BTW: please get my phone number from the shop the next time you are there. you can always call me to come pick you up...or at the least you get me to ride with last couple of hours WITH you. for real.
I am soooooooooooooo proud of you! No matter what is going on in your head.....you can always go a little further. Anyway, that's what you told me on Sunday!!!!! You rock. I cannot wait for your Ironman Day!
Wow, Michelle incredible. I am glad you were OK, crazy how things can be thrown into perspective so quickly eh? Scary. Guess we have to just enjoy every day b/c we never know what can happen tomorrow. Was so nice meeting you @ Skeese Greets, I am sure I'll see ya around...happy (soon to be) tapering!
Kelly
I know the mental exhaustion of IM training. Once you are done in about 3 weeks, it'll feel so good to sleep in, drink beer, and eat pizza. Way to finish the ride though. I wouldn't have done that.
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