WTF??? Where is my motivation? I'm 3 weeks from race day and it decided to go on vacation this week...the last solid week of training before taper!
Tuesday, I swam for 10 minutes...too much stuff jumbled in my head to focus. But I managed to pull it together for the evening workout. Wednesday went fine. Thursday, again swimming was a challenge but instead of getting out of the pool, I jumped into an empty lane and just swam...better than nothing! Evening spin was tough...got out of work late, really wanted to just sit outside with a glass of wine, but I stuck it through and actually ended up getting a good workout in, after all!
Yesterday I was trying to decide if I wanted to go out to the Real Ale Ride or stay in town. I hadn't made any plans to carpool with anyone so I was still up in the air about it. I decided that I would just stay in town. But by the evening, I decided that I'd be better off (and more apt to actually ride) if I drove out to do the ride. Plus, some of my good friends were going to be there, too.
But much like the rest of the week has been, I had no motivation this morning to ride 80 miles. I was so unmotivated that I didn't pre-hydrate or eat a good breakfast like I should have. I just didn't care anymore. It was a nice drive out and the sunrise was perfect...still, no motivation. I pulled into the parking lot and could tell that my attitude was not concealed well at all!
I didn't want to talk to anyone...look at anyone...just wanted to be invisible!! Didn't work, argh! I openly admitted that I had no motivation or desire to ride...Chrissie smacked me on the hand and basically told me to get over it; I hate when she's right!! Anyhow, I appreciate my team mates putting up with my grumpiness.
We started the ride in the usual charity ride chaos and went out like we were on fire! Oh man, I was going to be in trouble! My usual riding crew took off early and I was riding in a group that was just too fast for me. I lasted a few miles and then proceded to get dropped.
So I kept riding.
Then I came face to face with comitment - head to the shorter loops or commit to the 65/80 route
I commited to 65
I continued to ride as hard as I could. I just wanted to get done. I passed rest stops. I waited for no one. I caught up to no one. I rode alone.
After one particularly long climb, I came to a rest stop to refill my water bottles and found Miah changing a flat. He moved me on, but not before telling me that we were on the 65 mile route.
The Big Man upstairs knew I needed a break. I never saw the turn for the 80 mile route. I never had to make that decision.
I continued to ride hard. I had no idea how far I had gone or how fast. I was wearing my Garmin but realized after oh, maybe 30 miles, that I had forgotten to turn it on! Clearly, I wasn't in my head at the start!
I had many conversations with myself on this ride. Here are some of the conclusions:
1. "wow! Today's a perfect day to ride - perfect weather, great friends"
2. "Wow! This route is beautiful...and HILLY!!"
3. "Stop being silly, I am going to finish CDA"
4. "Remember, I am going to have FUN at CDA"
5. "Eeeck, is that snake dead?? I hope so!"
6. "Hey self, remember that I have done this race before!"
6. "I am going to have a lot of support out there"
7. "Remember not to wear THESE shorts to CDA...ouch!!"
8. " Remember, I need to stay positive and focused!"
8. "I do well once I get going, I just need to remember that at the beginning"
9. "Uh oh, need to eat more calories"
10. " I'm really ready to get off my bike, but I'm feeling pretty good!"
11. "Hmm...stranger told me I ride well, solid...that's nice" (no, he wasn't hitting on me either...was telling me about his 9 month old twins!)
12. "WHAT IS THAT SMELL???"
13. "Wow, it's really getting hot out here!"
14. "Glad to be finished!!"
I finished the 65 (or so) miles in 3.5 hours...pretty solid for a solo ride (at least for me). I was pleased that despite my lackluster start and solo ride, I still managed to put in a solid effort...just think what I can do when my head's in the right place???
Got 3 weeks to get it right!
p.s. I may have found a bit of my motivation on that ride today. I think maybe riding solo and working things out on my own may have been what I needed...we'll find out!