tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34499731732239808052024-03-14T00:34:38.878-05:00Oh, how I tri!michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.comBlogger162125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-51419741766290876732020-10-26T21:27:00.000-05:002020-10-26T21:27:09.241-05:00Restarting is even harder<p> I've been staring at this blank page for days...weeks. I've wanted to restart but have struggled with how. And it's not just this blog I'm struggling to restart. I have been feeling stuck lately. So I've been reaching to find a way to light that flame again. </p><p>Bare with me - this is going to be a rambler of a post!</p><p>I listened to an audio book recently that really hit home. Not only that, but it tied my past to my present, and offered me a way to tie together these empty buckets I've been wanting to fill. The book? Yes, it is "You are An Ironman" by Jaques Steinberg. While it may be "just another Ironman book" to most of you, it captures everyday athletes training for Ironman Arizona 2009, which is an event I've completed. All that gets even better by the mention of other events I was actually participating in at the time. CapTex Tri, Austin Tri, Vineman 70.3, Ironman Coeur d'Alene - it was like walking back in time. It was reliving a very special time in my life. I've listened to it more than I care to admit. </p><p>So here I am, staring at blank pages, stuck. It's not that things are going badly - I mean, for it being 2020 I really don't have anything to complain about (i.e. job, health, family, friends, etc.). But the pandemic has really heightened my emptiness. Times like these are good for exposing the good and the not-so-good. Very much a period of reflection and evaluation. And I'm coming up short. </p><p>Back to the book - it was right in front of my face! Three of the areas I've been struggling with were bundled up right there on the pages being read into my ear. Aside from the annoying way the narrator pronounces "tri-a-tha-lon" I couldn't help but listen because the characters in the book were giving me the recipe I needed. </p><p>1. Triathlon - I want to get out of retirement and back to it but I've had a hard time with motivation and (again) restarting. Here they were preparing for their first Ironman events - got my juices flowing. </p><p>2. Giving Back - I'm in an area with many, many opportunities to give back, but again I've struggled to find what grabs me. Several of the individuals in the book were tying in their events with fundraising efforts. I can do that!</p><p>3. Writing - My witty little LinkedIn posts have garnered positive feedback and really has been the impetus for me wanting to write again. And as you've figured, the characters in the book were also journaling/blogging. This is it!</p><p>So here I am, staring at a less blank page than I was when I started. And now I have a plan - tie my return to training to a fundraising effort and use my LinkedIn and other social media networks to deliver my story and hopefully raise funds to support a cause. </p><p>I don't have details...and I don't need them today. All I need to do today is start, and that's what I have done. I hope you'll follow me on my journey. Or don't...but I'm going anyway! </p>michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-75998215107699399402012-05-17T21:47:00.000-05:002015-01-03T11:00:57.770-06:00Out of Darkness comes Light<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1mPly9ctk1s/T7WwK45OCFI/AAAAAAAAAVk/4OSb2jP9zhA/s1600/darkness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1mPly9ctk1s/T7WwK45OCFI/AAAAAAAAAVk/4OSb2jP9zhA/s1600/darkness.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
Who the hell was the idiot who said "Out of Darkness comes Light"??? I'd like to shake their hand and give them a hug.<br />
<br />
According to wiki.answers, it was the Mayans (who, hopefully weren't right about everything) who came up with this notion as a way of depicting the life cycle. It has since become a phrase of encouragement. A phrase to remind us all that the dark, scary, trying, and heartbreaking moments are a requirement to finding light, joy, excitement, passion, and love.<br />
<br />
Recent times for me have been filled with a lot of unknowns - where would I work? would I be able to support myself again (yes, I know...but sometimes your mind goes there)? would I find what I came here looking for?<br />
<br />
I've only been here five months but I feel as though I've already been through so much. With the help of friends and family, things have been happening for the good. Through friends I now have a job that I'm enjoying - it offers the things I was looking for in a job. Challenging? Check. Autonomous? Check. Nice people? Check. Casual culture? Check (I wear flip flops to work). Through friends I will have a great apartment to live in with a yard for my girls and cool landlords and right on the road to almost every awesome bike route out of Boulder. Every day I drive to work with a picturesque view of the mountains and even on a rainy day, they're still beautiful. I've had the grace of friends who've put up with me and my girls all this time without so much as batting an eyelash. I have had the tremendous support of family and friends back home who've come to my rescue time and time again...even when they didn't know it. There have been a couple of tough days when I thought I just couldn't do it anymore that I received several calls/texts that absolutely made all the difference.<br />
<br />
This experience has definitely made me more aware and more grateful for the people in my life.<br />
<br />
It has also shed light on the dark...and the dark has let to light. But that is for another post.<br />
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
<br />michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-54144193803643301662012-05-10T23:50:00.000-05:002012-05-10T23:50:56.987-05:00"Oh, the Places You'll Go!" - Dr. Seuss<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="rg_hi uh_hi" data-height="183" data-width="275" height="183" id="rg_hi" src="https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTrDVbgE5zs5kxkNVRZt4Q0-9JJqArzqdsToJtrYsfdobsqi0Ie" style="height: 183px; width: 275px;" width="275" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
This book was a gift to me some years ago </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
by a sister who had a sense</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I didn't know then what I now know...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
or did I?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I knew that there were places to go, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
places to see and somewhere along the way</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
find out who was me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I didn't have direction just a few clues,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
a sense of being and a desire to choose.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But all too often was trampled by fear</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
don't venture too far, be sure to stay near.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Don't give up easily, but don't try too hard</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
stay in the zone, don't gamble your card. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Dr. Seuss I am not, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
just finding my spot...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
in a place that is more than I ever expected, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
that has shown me to open and let life happen.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
For the first time ever, in all of my life,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I know not what might come next </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but am willing to let go and trust that the best...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
is truly yet to come.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's one thing to pack everything you own and relocate without answers...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
it's very much another to let your mind and heart go and accept the unknown.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The answers, they come in ways you don't often expect.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sometimes they are hidden within your soul and other times shine from a mountain top.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It is not until you resign yourself to accept what may be, despite what you may want</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
that you find what you knew all along.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The answers, you see, lie within...they don't come with geography, or a map, or a </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
change in scenery.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They are with you...within you...in your heart...always.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When you allow yourself to open up from within, then...then you have no choice</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but to acknowledge what you most likely knew all along.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Your heart may ache, it may beat wildly, but if you listen...really listen</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
it will beat the truth.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-13353481120447188802012-01-05T23:23:00.000-06:002012-01-15T14:23:47.164-06:00New Life - Day 2Woke periodically throughout the night hoping that the next leg of our drive would be safe and also uneventful, hoping that I was doing the right thing, hoping the girls would travel well a second day, hoping that I will soon find a job, hoping I had prepared well enough financially to see me through to the next phase, hoping that this damn crossword puzzle will put me back to sleep because I'm exhausted!!<br />
<br />
After we said our good-byes and got back in the car - coffee in hand - we were on our way. My recollection of the drive is dream-like in that it seemed so surreal that this is actually happening. Another beautiful and clear day and the girls did very well - only a couple moments of whining but that was it. I was so thankful to have Sandra in the car with me as it did take some of the pressures of traveling away and helped me keep my mind off of all the stresses that were piling up in my head. I could feel the stress mounting and sometimes I just wanted to explode, but the conversation kept me from breaking down. <br />
<br />
Have you ever driven 946 miles without music? We did. Not intentionally, it just happened. <br />
<br />Something Sandra asked me really made me think for a moment...and I'm sure it's a question I'll ask myself on more than one occasion - "what do you hope to get out of this move?" In part, I'd like to rebuild what I had at home - a strong network of friends, explore my community and become involved in the social scenes I enjoyed at home and maybe even try some new ones. As I thought about my answers later, I wondered why...why start over looking for what you already have? True, I was feeling stale and stagnate at home, tired of being the constant, longing to try something new; but I was leaving the very things I wanted. Did I really need to move to another state to find the courage to do what I really wanted to do at home? Perhaps. <br />
<br />
As excited as I was to arrive at our destination, I was more excited to simply be out of the car. I was thrilled to have dinner and wine waiting our arrival and enjoyed every morsel and every drop. Settling into bed that night, with my girls by my side, I fell asleep with a million questions and concerns floating around in my head hoping to make something out of nothing. <br />
<br />
Tomorrow is a clean slate...michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-91839031812356259502012-01-04T23:00:00.000-06:002012-01-07T09:36:50.074-06:00New Life - Day 1The actual, physical Day 1 has been brought around by a culmination of days all leading to this one very defining day. It is the day I drive away from everything I know and everything and everyone I love to try something new. Day 1 of not talking about making changes in my life and wanting to do something different, but making it happen.<br />
<br />
Day 1 has been made a little less scary by those who've shared their stories of change and risk, chance and hope, faith and adventure. They give comfort to those like me who have taken great measure to avoid such things in life for the sake of safety and security. One realization from their experiences is that there is no failure in this opportunity - the only failure is in not trying at all. The failure would be to never let myself take the chance and then always wonder "what if?" I began to feel that "what if?" would become my scarlet letter and to end this life with that in my heart would be too much to bear.<br />
<br />
So here I am - Day 1. <br />
<br />
The "good-byes" are always the hardest, especially when you're not experienced at them. As expected, there were an ample amount of tears and hugs, each of which I will remember always. I know I'm not moving to another planet, nor am I moving across the globe but things happen in life, unexpected things, and sometimes you don't get another chance. How's that for morbidity? Let me turn it to a lighter side and say that there were also many "see you later"s as well...one of the luxuries of moving to a city that doesn't suck is that people actually look forward to visiting.<br />
<br />
We couldn't have asked for better driving weather - clear, sunny skies and spring-like temperatures. My girls were calmly sitting in their travel crate, completely unaware of how long they were about to be trapped in there. My bff, Sandra, seated next to me as my trusty navigator and instigator of this move. Let me be fair to say that she is not the "cause" of this move, but has kindly left the door open for the past 15 years or so for me to make this happen on my own time. <br />
<br />
Our first day would take us to Lubbock where we would spend the night in good company with my friend, Amy. The day went on pleasantly uneventful and the only two complaints would be the ever-gusty west Texas wind and some unpleasant odors along some of the farming and oil sections.<br />
<br />
We made it to our destination and after some delicious vino, good conversation, and dinner we settled in for the night. I slept well for a while, then woke from there my mind kept spinning and spinning with anxiety and anticipation.<br />
<br />
The reality of the event has yet to sink in at this point.michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-28635724852191875462011-03-24T22:05:00.002-05:002011-03-24T22:20:24.031-05:00Well, dammit...I'm behind on my blogging - AGAIN! I had really hoped to be better about it this year.<br /><br />This year has gotten off to a quick start. It reminds me of something my parents (and probably yours, too) used to say to me when I was young, "Just wait until you get older; time will start to fly by". Well, they weren't kidding and now I understand exactly what they mean. <br /><br />I've had some significant life experiences so far, one being part of friends' 100 mile journey - something I've been wanting to write about and will, just not tonight. Way to go Vegas and Jerry. <br /><br />Another being the loss of a friend - someone who, at 38, had so much to live for yet had it all taken from her by cancer. Her husband, young son and family have been left behind to learn to live without her physical presence. I remember a couple of things she said, 1. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of leaving." and "don't waste my cancer". Michelle put up a good fight against cancer, but eventually was unable to continue and had the opportunity to be with family until the end of her time here. I still think of her often and vow to never let her leave my heart.<br /><br />I've also started my fifth season with High Five Events as the Volunteer Coordinator. This year will prove to be even more challenging than past seasons as we've added three events - one being a triathlon festival in Kerrville. If I live through the three events in April, then I think I'll be ok the rest of the season. <br /><br />Three in one month may be the end of me :)<br /><br />You may be wondering why the summary of Q'1, it feels almost like I'm writing one of those "what did you do this summer" essays from way back in elementary school. Well, I do have a reason and that is because I really want to expand on a couple of the topics mentioned and if I at least start here, I will be more apt to come back and expand.<br /><br />There are a lot of things going on this year and I want to make this last year as a 30-something count!<br /><br />Speaking of 30-something - did any of you ever watch that show back in the day? I remember my mom watching it and I thought they were all so much older...guess the jokes on me!<br /><br />Stand by...the best is yet to come.michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-12727116184069022262011-01-27T22:38:00.005-06:002011-01-27T22:53:07.980-06:00Birthdays and Social MediaOne thing that has changed in recent years is, of course, social media. Because of sites like Facebook, over 500 hundred people I am connected to in some way are reminded of my special day. I almost feel a little selfish because in a way it seems like I'm screaming, "Hey everybody, look at me...it's my birthday!!" But on the other hand, I really like being reminded of other people's special days so I guess I should just enjoy and get over it. I suppose that's part of why we're all on those sites to begin with, right? To share pieces of our lives with others?<br /><br />Aside from feeling a little awkward about the whole thing, it also makes me blush and feel humbled to have such a great network of friends and acquaintances who took a moment of their time to send a birthday greeting. It's like someone unleashed a flurry of warm fuzzies in my heart.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TUJLl7g9LBI/AAAAAAAAANQ/VBoYYrSrEb4/s1600/birthday%2Bcupcake.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 139px; height: 196px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TUJLl7g9LBI/AAAAAAAAANQ/VBoYYrSrEb4/s320/birthday%2Bcupcake.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5567095204386515986" border="0" /></a>michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-64214154149740347872011-01-20T07:33:00.002-06:002011-01-20T07:39:25.376-06:00Dreaming a Reality?Have you ever been awakened by an epiphany? I think I might have had one last night. Seriously. I'm not sure about the specifics but it was poignant, so much so that I immediately wrote down the few details I had and hope to look into what this means and how I can make it happen.<br /><br />I can't honestly recall the last time I had an epiphany but I am fairly certain that's what happened last night.michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-524379043602257292011-01-12T19:19:00.002-06:002011-01-12T19:45:44.688-06:00Feeling Good About Feeling Good...Today was a good day. Today I have felt something I've not felt in quite a while, at least not with this much umph. I'm not sure how to describe it other than to say that I felt like my old self...the good old self. Not the young, naive self...not the married self...not the divorced self...not the post-divorce self...not the "I'm almost 40 and what am I doing with my life" self, but the self that has been hiding...the happy, confident and vibrant self. The feeling hasn't lasted terribly long, but long enough to reassure my current self that "I still got it!"<br /><br />I must recall how I managed to do this because I need to rewind and repeat! Could it be that I conjured her up? I think maybe so...I conjured up my old self and didn't realize I was doing it. As I sit here, fingers on the keys, it hits me. I took control of my day. Seriously, is this all it really takes? How the hell did I forget how to do this? Why have I let her go so long?<br /><br />She was summoned by my controlling my life today. <br /><br />Repeat tomorrow.michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-54640959515103557692011-01-12T07:29:00.002-06:002011-01-12T07:38:33.372-06:00New Year and already behind!Damn it. While I was hoping to get a jump on the new year, the cosmos had another thing in store for me - sinus/ear infections.<br /><br />Well, I suppose I won't let it dissuade me from my objectives of having a stellar year. Now that am back among the humans again, I am working to get caught up on my January goals. One of which is to get this blog back on track. <br /><br />I hope that by my sharing, it will also keep me accountable. I have some things I'd like to work on this year and if I share those with you, then I am more likely to follow through...isn't that how many of us work anyway?<br /><br />I am optimistic about the coming months and hope to ride the lows quickly and float through the highs.michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-16904091262314706422010-12-06T19:36:00.003-06:002010-12-06T19:48:19.953-06:00Perspective Shifts and Epiphanies?Epiphany - noun. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.<br /><br />Since I seem to be lacking epiphanies, I wonder if shifting my perspective on things can cause an epiphany? You know, give my perspective a kick-start in some way. <br /><br />Someone please kick my perception into gear!! I need an epiphany!!michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-60889022560590625302010-12-01T21:31:00.002-06:002010-12-01T21:42:49.734-06:00What am I missing?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TPcVnQkDeFI/AAAAAAAAAMk/OhQVqpLLiMQ/s1600/mountain%2Btop.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 160px; height: 120px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TPcVnQkDeFI/AAAAAAAAAMk/OhQVqpLLiMQ/s320/mountain%2Btop.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5545925230335326290" border="0" /></a><br />Wallet? Check.<br />Phone? Check.<br />Shoes? Check.<br />Hat? Check.<br />Keys? Check.<br /><br />Family? Check.<br />Health? Check.<br />Friends? Check.<br />Education? Check.<br />Job? Check.<br />Home? Check.<br />Hobby? Check.<br /><br />Ever just feel like something's missing from your life? Something meaningful, fulfilling...but you just can't quite put your finger on it? Has there ever been something pulling you from the inside, pulling you in so many directions but none of which you can pin down? Too many choices. Too many options. What is the paralyzing factor? Is it fear or simply not knowing? What do you do when you're ready to take a plunge but don't know which direction to plunge?michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-55690559650612450082010-11-25T07:50:00.000-06:002010-11-25T07:51:20.851-06:00It's time...It's time again to take a step back and reflect on all the things I have to be thankful for:<br /><ul><li>healthy family and self</li><li>more friends than I can count and some I can count on day/night</li><li>my babies and their health<br /> </li><li>the freedom to run whenever I want<br /> </li><li>never having to go hungry</li><li>never having to go without wine</li><li>a roof over my head that makes me happy</li><li>opportunities to share my passion with others</li><li>and the opportunities to learn from others<br /> </li><li>living in a country that allows me liberties others only dream of (if that)</li><li>Folgers holiday commercials</li><li>employment that allows me to do the things I enjoy</li></ul> There are so many other big and small things to be thankful for that I would be here all day writing, however, there's a Trot to run and turkey to eat. So often it is the day-to-day trials and tribulations and "why me?"s that float around our heads instead of the joys that all around us. <br /><br />So after the turkey has been eaten, after the family gatherings dissipate, once the holiday madness has ended - try to remember to be thankful for something EVERY DAY.michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-27929020476384520922010-10-29T08:36:00.003-05:002010-10-29T09:20:50.331-05:00Torpedos Be Damned!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TMrVxNkXdJI/AAAAAAAAAMc/Jh-DV5L9hWI/s1600/torpedo.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TMrVxNkXdJI/AAAAAAAAAMc/Jh-DV5L9hWI/s200/torpedo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533470133610574994" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Words from my coach, Derick Williamson of Durata Training, on how to approach my race on Sunday. It's been an interesting trek getting to this weekend - lot's of torpedoes have been deployed this journey and I've gotten a few scars but have managed to avoid total destruction. From various injuries to a nasty flu-like cold last week, it's been full of peaks and valleys. But how is that any different from life or anyone else's training? It's not. We all encounter obstacles; it's the tactics we use to combat them that makes us unique.<br /><br />Traversing those peaks and valleys in my mind has been the greatest challenge for me. I've gone from feeling super confident to feeling that I wouldn't make it to the start line to giving up running altogether. Fortunately, I keep reminding myself that no matter your preparation, race day comes with no guarantee of success or failure, so all I need to do is put one foot in front of the other and enjoy the day.<br /><br />...and damn those torpedoes!<br /><br /><br />Thanks to everyone for all your support and kind words. I may have trained alone, but I certainly don't feel alone!michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-58907260766842774932010-07-13T07:18:00.005-05:002010-07-13T07:59:20.681-05:00Doing Something for the First Time...Aside from dusting off the blog, I decided to do something I've been wanting to do for a long time. With fortuitous timing and my tipping point reached, I decided that this is the time to make the first move.<br /><br />Donate to Locks of Love<br /><br />Locks of Love is an organization that collects donated human hair and creates custom wigs to children suffering hair loss from diseases and traumatic events such as cancer, alopecia, burns and other life-altering events.<br /><br />Sure, I could have donated a check. What organization can't use cold, hard cash? But I want my contribution to be personal. I want to know that when some little girl looks in the mirror and smiles because for a moment, she isn't reminded of her illness or disease by her lack of hair, it is because I was able to give her a gift. I'm not curing cancer, but maybe I can help her feel better in some way while she fights through her illness. I don't know, it just seems like the right thing for me to do.<br /><br />I tried to do this several years ago, but my hair was not quite long enough (shy about an inch) and I was too impatient to let it get any longer. But for the last two years, I've been letting it grow...and grow...and grow...<img src="file:///C:/Users/mlapuente/Pictures/2010-07-13/142.JPG" alt="" /><br /><img src="file:///C:/Users/mlapuente/Pictures/2010-07-13/142.JPG" alt="" /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TDxgvgqERUI/AAAAAAAAAL4/hKTB0J6a3KM/s1600/hair+before.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 88px; height: 119px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TDxgvgqERUI/AAAAAAAAAL4/hKTB0J6a3KM/s320/hair+before.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493372014821655874" border="0" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TDxhIpVQhCI/AAAAAAAAAMA/u8H-TkhZ_ss/s1600/143.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 89px; height: 119px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TDxhIpVQhCI/AAAAAAAAAMA/u8H-TkhZ_ss/s200/143.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493372446647026722" border="0" /></a><br />I am donating over 10 inches of my own hair.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TDxhlliK74I/AAAAAAAAAMI/UPbMUwNgj_E/s1600/hair+donated.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 88px; height: 118px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/TDxhlliK74I/AAAAAAAAAMI/UPbMUwNgj_E/s200/hair+donated.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493372943843651458" border="0" /></a><br /><br />It was a bit more surreal than I had imagined because I had not realized how attached to it I had become. It seems that long hair sort of becomes its own being, it has it's own life because it too changes over the years. And I unfortunately found out, also leaves you with some strange cowlicks and growth patterns that you don't discover when it's long and weighed down. But hey, I get to grow my hair out...some of these kids might not ever.michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-83663882008818465632010-04-11T18:45:00.002-05:002010-04-11T19:08:01.202-05:00Growing Pains and Growing Gains...Gains often arise from the pains we experience through life. This is not something I have discovered all on my own - not like Albert Einstein proclaiming the Theory of Relativity. You've no doubt heard this many times, in many different renditions. But while so many times we tell ourselves "oh, I'm learning my lesson" - learning to adapt to injury, life-changes, work-changes, etc. - it's also important to ACCEPT these lessons.<br /><br />Learning the lessons and accepting them, I have discovered, are not equal. Last year, as I "learned my lesson" while dealing with my hip and feet injuries, I had a difficult time accepting them. I learned that I needed to stop, to rest, to recover, but I did so with a combination of despair, resentment, bitterness and sorrow and an assortment of conflicting emotions. I knew and did what I <span style="font-style: italic;">needed</span> to do and tried really hard to stay on course. I took a break, but in taking a break, I didn't do anything. I was so affected by not being able to run that I simply did nothing.<br /><br />A few weeks ago, I began to experience a setback with my <span style="font-style: italic;">other</span> hip. <span style="font-style: italic;">REALLY?!?!</span> Come on! This time, I sought out the professional care necessary to begin dealing with this situation sooner than later. I also informed my coach and together have come up with ways for me to continue training without running until it resolves. <br /><br />This time I will not "do nothing"...I will do what I can. I can swim, so I swim. I can spin, so I spin. I can't ride hills, so I don't. I can't run, so I don't. Bitter? Not this time. Frustrated? Sometimes, but less often than previously. I know if I listen to my body and give it time to heal itself, it will. And do you know what? Every day it seems to be improving - patience, positivity, PT and prayers - are my keys to recovery.<br /><br />It's all going to be ok...for real this time!! :)michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-44041730652592540322010-03-09T21:24:00.002-06:002010-03-09T21:43:57.150-06:00The Epiphany...<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Yes, it happened. The minor epiphany did occur during my run this morning...as was predicted!<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I decided that while I am not currently experiencing any "drastic" life altering events, I am experiencing life altering changes:<br /><br />I am eating better (most of the time)<br />Cooking more<br />Taking my lunch to work regularly<br />Enjoying my babies (my 4-legged babies)<br />Making my work life more satisfying, but never </span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">closing my eyes to possibilities)<br />Practicing Yoga<br />Making girl-time<br />Making couple-time<br />Making me-time!<br />Finding ways to relax<br />Sparking my training</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Sharing my knowledge by teaching<br />Conscientiously trying not to be so critical of my shortcomings (except for my weight - unavoidable!)<br />and...<br />running. running. running!!</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br />I am trying to adopt a more relaxed attitude and be open to more possibilities - be it sport, work or whatever!<br /><br />So, doing the same things year after year doesn't mean you're in a rut - it's how you do them that's key. Life changes come in all shapes and sizes and right now...mine are m&m sized but quite plentiful!</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br /></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/S5cVSPm2QNI/AAAAAAAAALs/CJeEeKyz8jY/s1600-h/mandm.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 248px; height: 186px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/S5cVSPm2QNI/AAAAAAAAALs/CJeEeKyz8jY/s200/mandm.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446845677499203794" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span>michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-60128324813650703362010-03-09T06:03:00.003-06:002010-03-09T06:15:17.155-06:00Where am I?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/S5Y5qo1GG9I/AAAAAAAAALk/jMveQPC5n7c/s1600-h/whirlpool.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 103px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/S5Y5qo1GG9I/AAAAAAAAALk/jMveQPC5n7c/s200/whirlpool.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5446604204028599250" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family: verdana;">As I sit here with my coffee, preparing for my run, I'm thinking...the kind of thinking usually done after consuming a bottle of wine at home after a long day. And I'm thinking "where am I?" <br /><br />How can so many things be different, yet it all somehow feel the like nothing's really changed? <br /><br />Perhaps I'll have an epiphany while out on my run...I'll keep you posted!<br /></span>michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-28086315433108264152010-02-24T19:28:00.005-06:002010-02-24T20:07:55.183-06:00Well, hello again!Yes, yes, yes...I've been on hiatus. No, no particular reason either...just didn't feel like sitting down to write. And no, I'm not going to try and catch up on the last five months...I'd go crazy and you'd be bored!<br /><img src="file:///C:/Users/MLAPUE%7E1/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot-2.png" alt="" /><br />Right now I'm obsessed with the winter Olympics. I've watched any number of events every day and have a whole new interest in them. I've always enjoyed the summer games, but am now becoming drawn into the winter sports.<br /><br />Speed Skating<br />Alpine<br />Moguls<br />Super G<br />Ski Jumping<br />Snowboarding<br />Ski Cross<br />Snowboard Cross<br />Cross Country Skiing<br />Luge<br />Figure Skating<br />etc.<br /><br />I've watched and watched and watched in awe and amazement at what these athletes can do, what they've sacrificed to get there and how much of a lazy bum I am since I haven't been training much! At the very least, it is quite motivating...especially since I will not ever be an Olympic athlete, I don't have to train <span style="font-style: italic;">that </span>hard!<br /><br />Nevertheless...I'm back on a training program...as of today. Day 1 has been a success! The one major difference this year is that I very well may not do one single, solitary triathlon. Not one. Zero. Zilch.<br /><br />What am I training for, you might ask??? MCM. Marine. Corps. Marathon. And my ticket to Boston. I will be a running and yoga-ing fool who will still bike and swim.<br /><br />So now that you've read this you're asking yourself, "that's it? 5 months and her return post is this? WTH???"...yawn!<br /><br />Oh, I'm sure the next several months will be eventful and insightful...at least through my eyes!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/S4XbCVXQXAI/AAAAAAAAALU/lv703JiQJDM/s1600-h/running.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 116px; height: 116px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/S4XbCVXQXAI/AAAAAAAAALU/lv703JiQJDM/s200/running.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441996557888019458" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/S4XbG1Lh_sI/AAAAAAAAALc/AVhUhizxMsQ/s1600-h/bikram.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 115px; height: 105px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/S4XbG1Lh_sI/AAAAAAAAALc/AVhUhizxMsQ/s200/bikram.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441996635148254914" border="0" /></a>michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-34888186160320065592009-08-25T21:12:00.004-05:002009-08-25T21:43:02.047-05:00Oh, the places you will go...I believe that's something from a Dr. Seuss book. But that's how I feel. I'm going places. Where? Somewhere. Here and there and everywhere. Somewhere and no where. Up there, down there, this way and that way.<br /><br />Over there and over here. The road less traveled, the road paved. No road. Familiar road.<br /><br />Does it matter? Not really.<br /><br />Why?<br /><br />Because all that matters is that I believe, in my heart, that I am on the right path for me. I may be by myself, but I'll never be alone.<br /><br />Let's go...michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-16389201008710660152009-08-17T21:14:00.002-05:002009-08-17T22:02:02.050-05:00Not Seeing the Forest for the Trees...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/SooZbOXJFuI/AAAAAAAAALE/Fx75ptEdnDk/s1600-h/forest.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 160px; height: 120px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/SooZbOXJFuI/AAAAAAAAALE/Fx75ptEdnDk/s320/forest.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371133461095061218" border="0" /></a><br />or something like that.<br /><br />Old sayings don't stick around without reason.<br /><br />Not seeing the forest for the trees - I realized very recently the magnitude of its meaning. Lately I have been so focused on a few troubled trees that I wasn't seeing the beautiful, healthy and nourishing forest around me.<br /><br />Usually, when I find myself in troubled times, I retreat...withdraw from the world and dare to take on my problems single-handedly. A testament to my obscene level of stubbornness. This time, I decided to try something different. Trust. Trust that if I let my friends in to what I was feeling, that they would not betray that trust. Trust in my faith that He would help me find my way to a better place. Trust that my family would be my pillar of strength.<br /><br />I was surprised by what I found.<br /><br />What I found was a forest of trust and friendship. I discovered that when I surround myself with wonderful people, I do not lack for love, friendship, care or compassion. I found more than several listening ears, shoulders to lean on and smiles to comfort me. Concern and support came flowing out of the woodwork from people I barely know. I received phone calls, texts, emails all just to check up on me. I am not a very religious person and many times I question faith, spirituality, etc. But this time...this time I asked for a little help and in turn I received what I needed to lift me out of my funk.<br /><br />Letting myself open up and receive my gifts - friendship, love and support - was a step I have not, until now, been able to make. So, even though I felt like I was struggling and lost; what I found was strength, friendship and confidence.<br /><br />A friend recently sent me a note stating something her grandmother told her about life: Keep many friends, all kinds of friends; because you never know when you'll need them or when they'll need you.<br /><br />I will most definitely hold on to that one. I am truly blessed with a forest full of goodness!michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-558640033452512032009-08-05T20:31:00.002-05:002009-08-05T20:39:10.706-05:00Dizzy yet??? I am!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/Snoy99RzVwI/AAAAAAAAAK8/G9xQWoDrpI4/s1600-h/roller+coaster.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 265px; height: 198px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/Snoy99RzVwI/AAAAAAAAAK8/G9xQWoDrpI4/s320/roller+coaster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366657945968006914" border="0" /></a>After the ride is over...senses are regained, emotions return to steady state and the head stops spinning. You look back...smile...and think, "yeah, I made it". <br /><br />It'll come soon...michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-21986328068485577212009-08-04T22:42:00.002-05:002009-08-04T23:08:15.570-05:00A Brand New Day...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/SnkAdhMBQ9I/AAAAAAAAAK0/uWVrTc46_44/s1600-h/tulips.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ycq8Eu_yglw/SnkAdhMBQ9I/AAAAAAAAAK0/uWVrTc46_44/s200/tulips.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5366320938113647570" border="0" /></a>Tomorrow will be a brand new day...yes, I realize today was a brand new day, as was the day before and the day before that, etc. But tomorrow is the first day I'm not going to be sad, I'm not going to mope around and I'm not going to keep from doing things I love to do because of what may or may not happen or because of who I might encounter along the way.<br /><br />Why?<br /><br />Because something better will always come along. My life will be better for it. I should be excited, actually. My future is waiting for me and it's time for me to get moving.<br /><br />That's what I'm going to do now. I'm going to get moving. There comes a time when you have to realize that sometimes close to being happy just isn't good enough. <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"></span>Never give up on what you deserve and right now, I deserve to be happy!<br /><br />As a good friend told me tonight...if it's right, it'll be easy. I have to remember that things always work out they way they should, maybe not the way you think they should or hope they will; but I'll be better and happier for it!<br /><br />Ah, life!michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-43451092945316639222009-08-02T19:26:00.002-05:002009-08-02T21:37:22.823-05:00Letting Go, Reaching Out and Moving On...Today wraps up a long week. You know the kind...you can't imagine that you'll make it through Monday, much less to or through the weekend. And when you look back at that week, you can't believe it was only one week. The kind of week where you feel like you can't breathe, your swirling uncontrollably in a dark abyss and it seems impossible to sort out what you are feeling because you can't determine it's source; and every outlet you usually turn to when things are falling apart seems to also be in disarray. <br /><br />First up for me, is accepting that it is time to let go. Acknowledge it for what it was - both the good and the bad of it. Easier said than done. It becomes even more difficult when I am letting go of something that was so close to being "just right". <br /><br />Next up is reaching out. So many times I wall up and close down to the rest of the world when struggling through the difficult times. This time, I'm changing my strategy and leaning on my friends, hoping that my trust in them will pull me through. An added benefit - learning to trust again. Something I need to learn and will serve me well in the future.<br /><br />The next step is moving on. By far the hardest for me to digest, especially when things around me are moving at their own paces. That lack of control drives me nuts!! I have to realize that I can only move at a pace that I can maintain (I'm trying to refrain from racing/training analogies, but that's almost an impossibility). It entails taking that leap of faith into a vast unknown. Some people are fortunate enough to thrive on the unknown, I am terrified. Perhaps if I were only considering leaps of faith in one area of my life I might find it exciting, but when every facet of my life is requiring a change, well...it scares the crap out of me. I know from past experiences that we always move on...change happens whether we initiate it or not and we learn, grow and find happiness in those changes.<br /><br />Sometimes you end up on an entirely different path than you ever imagined and sometimes you come full circle back to where you started, but in a different way. And you will never know until you take those steps to let go, reach out and move on.michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3449973173223980805.post-64621104107344486112009-07-30T20:45:00.004-05:002009-07-30T21:40:38.585-05:00Mirror, mirror, on the wall...what do they see that I do not? <br /><br />A dear friend and I were talking today about life and in particular, about the difficult week I've had (for reasons I will not elaborate on here). Much of what was discussed was normal conversation about life, love, challenges, decisions, etc. But she said something to me that resonated loudly. She said, "you will always be your toughest critic, but sometimes you have to stop and see what the rest of us see."<br /><br />The more I think about it, the more it brings a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat. Because I wish I could see what she was referring to with that statement. I feel almost like a fraud, I mean come on! I "know" who I really am, right? And if I "know" who I am, then what they must see must be fake, right? It can't possibly be real...because if they saw the real me they would see all the vulnerability, the insecurity and the fright locked inside, right?<br /><br />Or am I choosing to look only through my coal-colored glasses?<br /><br />Maybe I'm not seeing the real me? Perhaps I am cheating myself out of the joy of being me? What am I missing out on? <br /><br />Can I allow myself to take another long look in that mirror? Take a chance that I might actually like what I see past the fleeting youthful exterior? <br /><br />Mirror, mirror...michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16824666189619992240noreply@blogger.com0