Well, dammit...

I'm behind on my blogging - AGAIN! I had really hoped to be better about it this year.

This year has gotten off to a quick start. It reminds me of something my parents (and probably yours, too) used to say to me when I was young, "Just wait until you get older; time will start to fly by". Well, they weren't kidding and now I understand exactly what they mean.

I've had some significant life experiences so far, one being part of friends' 100 mile journey - something I've been wanting to write about and will, just not tonight. Way to go Vegas and Jerry.

Another being the loss of a friend - someone who, at 38, had so much to live for yet had it all taken from her by cancer. Her husband, young son and family have been left behind to learn to live without her physical presence. I remember a couple of things she said, 1. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of leaving." and "don't waste my cancer". Michelle put up a good fight against cancer, but eventually was unable to continue and had the opportunity to be with family until the end of her time here. I still think of her often and vow to never let her leave my heart.

I've also started my fifth season with High Five Events as the Volunteer Coordinator. This year will prove to be even more challenging than past seasons as we've added three events - one being a triathlon festival in Kerrville. If I live through the three events in April, then I think I'll be ok the rest of the season.

Three in one month may be the end of me :)

You may be wondering why the summary of Q'1, it feels almost like I'm writing one of those "what did you do this summer" essays from way back in elementary school. Well, I do have a reason and that is because I really want to expand on a couple of the topics mentioned and if I at least start here, I will be more apt to come back and expand.

There are a lot of things going on this year and I want to make this last year as a 30-something count!

Speaking of 30-something - did any of you ever watch that show back in the day? I remember my mom watching it and I thought they were all so much older...guess the jokes on me!

Stand by...the best is yet to come.

Birthdays and Social Media

One thing that has changed in recent years is, of course, social media. Because of sites like Facebook, over 500 hundred people I am connected to in some way are reminded of my special day. I almost feel a little selfish because in a way it seems like I'm screaming, "Hey everybody, look at me...it's my birthday!!" But on the other hand, I really like being reminded of other people's special days so I guess I should just enjoy and get over it. I suppose that's part of why we're all on those sites to begin with, right? To share pieces of our lives with others?

Aside from feeling a little awkward about the whole thing, it also makes me blush and feel humbled to have such a great network of friends and acquaintances who took a moment of their time to send a birthday greeting. It's like someone unleashed a flurry of warm fuzzies in my heart.

Dreaming a Reality?

Have you ever been awakened by an epiphany? I think I might have had one last night. Seriously. I'm not sure about the specifics but it was poignant, so much so that I immediately wrote down the few details I had and hope to look into what this means and how I can make it happen.

I can't honestly recall the last time I had an epiphany but I am fairly certain that's what happened last night.

Feeling Good About Feeling Good...

Today was a good day. Today I have felt something I've not felt in quite a while, at least not with this much umph. I'm not sure how to describe it other than to say that I felt like my old self...the good old self. Not the young, naive self...not the married self...not the divorced self...not the post-divorce self...not the "I'm almost 40 and what am I doing with my life" self, but the self that has been hiding...the happy, confident and vibrant self. The feeling hasn't lasted terribly long, but long enough to reassure my current self that "I still got it!"

I must recall how I managed to do this because I need to rewind and repeat! Could it be that I conjured her up? I think maybe so...I conjured up my old self and didn't realize I was doing it. As I sit here, fingers on the keys, it hits me. I took control of my day. Seriously, is this all it really takes? How the hell did I forget how to do this? Why have I let her go so long?

She was summoned by my controlling my life today.

Repeat tomorrow.

New Year and already behind!

Damn it. While I was hoping to get a jump on the new year, the cosmos had another thing in store for me - sinus/ear infections.

Well, I suppose I won't let it dissuade me from my objectives of having a stellar year. Now that am back among the humans again, I am working to get caught up on my January goals. One of which is to get this blog back on track.

I hope that by my sharing, it will also keep me accountable. I have some things I'd like to work on this year and if I share those with you, then I am more likely to follow through...isn't that how many of us work anyway?

I am optimistic about the coming months and hope to ride the lows quickly and float through the highs.