Today was a good day. Today I have felt something I've not felt in quite a while, at least not with this much umph. I'm not sure how to describe it other than to say that I felt like my old self...the good old self. Not the young, naive self...not the married self...not the divorced self...not the post-divorce self...not the "I'm almost 40 and what am I doing with my life" self, but the self that has been hiding...the happy, confident and vibrant self. The feeling hasn't lasted terribly long, but long enough to reassure my current self that "I still got it!"
I must recall how I managed to do this because I need to rewind and repeat! Could it be that I conjured her up? I think maybe so...I conjured up my old self and didn't realize I was doing it. As I sit here, fingers on the keys, it hits me. I took control of my day. Seriously, is this all it really takes? How the hell did I forget how to do this? Why have I let her go so long?
She was summoned by my controlling my life today.