what do they see that I do not?
A dear friend and I were talking today about life and in particular, about the difficult week I've had (for reasons I will not elaborate on here). Much of what was discussed was normal conversation about life, love, challenges, decisions, etc. But she said something to me that resonated loudly. She said, "you will always be your toughest critic, but sometimes you have to stop and see what the rest of us see."
The more I think about it, the more it brings a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat. Because I wish I could see what she was referring to with that statement. I feel almost like a fraud, I mean come on! I "know" who I really am, right? And if I "know" who I am, then what they must see must be fake, right? It can't possibly be real...because if they saw the real me they would see all the vulnerability, the insecurity and the fright locked inside, right?
Or am I choosing to look only through my coal-colored glasses?
Maybe I'm not seeing the real me? Perhaps I am cheating myself out of the joy of being me? What am I missing out on?
Can I allow myself to take another long look in that mirror? Take a chance that I might actually like what I see past the fleeting youthful exterior?