Sunday, August 2, 2009

Letting Go, Reaching Out and Moving On...

Today wraps up a long week. You know the can't imagine that you'll make it through Monday, much less to or through the weekend. And when you look back at that week, you can't believe it was only one week. The kind of week where you feel like you can't breathe, your swirling uncontrollably in a dark abyss and it seems impossible to sort out what you are feeling because you can't determine it's source; and every outlet you usually turn to when things are falling apart seems to also be in disarray.

First up for me, is accepting that it is time to let go. Acknowledge it for what it was - both the good and the bad of it. Easier said than done. It becomes even more difficult when I am letting go of something that was so close to being "just right".

Next up is reaching out. So many times I wall up and close down to the rest of the world when struggling through the difficult times. This time, I'm changing my strategy and leaning on my friends, hoping that my trust in them will pull me through. An added benefit - learning to trust again. Something I need to learn and will serve me well in the future.

The next step is moving on. By far the hardest for me to digest, especially when things around me are moving at their own paces. That lack of control drives me nuts!! I have to realize that I can only move at a pace that I can maintain (I'm trying to refrain from racing/training analogies, but that's almost an impossibility). It entails taking that leap of faith into a vast unknown. Some people are fortunate enough to thrive on the unknown, I am terrified. Perhaps if I were only considering leaps of faith in one area of my life I might find it exciting, but when every facet of my life is requiring a change, scares the crap out of me. I know from past experiences that we always move on...change happens whether we initiate it or not and we learn, grow and find happiness in those changes.

Sometimes you end up on an entirely different path than you ever imagined and sometimes you come full circle back to where you started, but in a different way. And you will never know until you take those steps to let go, reach out and move on.

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